By Amy Guenther
If you’re reading this, then you’ve been hurt by someone. How do I know? Because all of us have been hurt by someone at some time. This is for those of you going through it right now.
The degree to how we’ve been hurt may vary, but we’ve all been the victim of being slandered, shamed, unjustly accused and so on, in some way. We have been unfairly treated when we didn’t deserve it. Or perhaps we’ve been ignored, abandoned, or just plain made to feel worthless.
(I’m mostly talking about hurt feelings here, but I suppose this blog post can apply to physical harm, as well, though that’s not my focus here.)
When we are hurt in these ways, it can be crushing, overwhelming and sometimes even despair sets in. The pain, heartache and grief can be deep, leaving wounds and scars that can set in for days, weeks, months or even years for some.
And, let’s be honest. Sometimes our flesh wants to get revenge. We want that person to experience the same treatment they gave to us. It’s our flesh’s nature to want revenge, in a sense, and to see justice prevail. Somehow we think that will sooth our aching heart, ego and hurt feelings.
(I’m not talking about situations where the person has repented… that’s a different story.)
Let me also be clear, these feelings of wanting revenge are not Biblical or right. But sometimes, we struggle with this sin of wanting to see the person who hurt us suffer, even when we know those fleshly feelings are not in keeping with Torah and walking like Yeshua.
Yehovah is a God of justice, certainly, and we can and should rest in that, and leave it all to Him and fill ourselves with forgiveness as we ourselves have been forgiven. But sometimes, especially in those initial days after being hurt, in our weakness and our own sinfulness, we struggle.
I want to remind you that when you are in that struggle and you want to (metaphorically) punch someone in the gut, you can direct that energy and punch the real bad guy in the gut.
Who are you really mad at?
When you feel like you’re in a battle with another person who hurts you, you MUST remember that your battle is not again flesh and blood. (Eph. 6:12.) When you direct your anger, vengeance, and malice toward a person, you’re missing the point entirely.
Yes, that person did something awful to you. But what’s the “why” behind it? If that person sinned against you, then why? Who is the one that made them sin? There’s only one, and it’s Satan. Why stay angry at the person, when it should be the Enemy that deserves your disgust, hate and resentment?
(There’s much more to say about reconciliation, but I’ll save that for another post.)
Redirect your feelings. Direct your thoughts to how you can “get back” at Satan for what’s he has caused. Then determine to do just that: Get back at Satan!
Punch Satan in the gut by loving someone.
And here’s how you get back at Satan: love someone.
Yes, it’s that simple. When you show love to someone, you are punching Satan in the gut. Want to punch him in the face, too? Do the loving thing in the name of Yeshua! POW! A left hook in Satan’s kisser!
I know I’m not speaking anything new or profound here, but sometimes we need reminders of core truths. And while this blog post may not be profound, the impact of doing this can be dramatically profound!
Satan is hate, ugliness, sin and everything that is wrong in the world, and he is the reason why we sin, hurt each other and don’t forgive as we should.
When you take your hurt, and direct that energy into doing something loving for someone, Satan loses the battle. He wants to bring you down, friend. He wants to crush you. He wants you to feel worthless and defeated, and sometimes he gets to people, even believers and causes someone to sin in a way that hurts you. You’re a threat to him, after all!
The hurt you feel is real, and you will suffer, but while you suffer, maybe even become depressed, please, please, please, even if you must force yourself, find a way to show love to someone.
It doesn’t have to be the person you hurt, (although that’s a good idea!) but find someone to love. If you can find someone who you know is also hurting as you are, what a great opportunity for you!
How you show them love is not really the purpose of this article, but there are so many ways! Pray for them, (in person, so they know you’re praying), take someone a meal, offer someone help, help someone financially. Finding a way to love someone shouldn’t be difficult for you. As believers we should be doing this all the time. Do the loving thing in person.
Satan wants you on the bench, out of the “love” game.
But often when we are deeply hurt, we become so engrossed in our own suffering and focus on our own pain so much that we become trapped in it and all of our energy is spent thinking about our hurt, the injustice and the “why’s.”
But isn’t that exactly what Satan wants? He wants your hurt to consume you so much that you quit going about your Kingdom work. He wants to take you out of commission and sit you on the bench for a while. Don’t let him win!
During your hurting, love someone. PUNCH! Right in Satan’s gut!
In the midst of unjust treatment, love someone. KICK! Right in Satan’s face!
While you suffer unfairly, love someone. JAB! Right in Satan’s kisser!
Remember to do the love thing in the name of Yeshua, and you’ll knock Satan right down. And then, to Yehovah’s glory, you have won, not Satan.
Read this (don’t skim, READ this… 🙂
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.” 1 Peter 4:12-19
While we should being showing love just because it’s the right thing to do, I do want to mention a couple of personal benefits that will come to you. The reason I’m mentioning these is because I know what when we hurt, sometimes we need a little more motivation to do the right thing, get off the “pity party” couch and get moving in a loving direction.
- When you show love, you’ll feel loved back. Don’t we all know that when we bless others, we will feel even more blessed? When you go out of your way to love someone, they will likely be sure you know they appreciate you, love you, and thank God for you. And isn’t that exactly what you need to hear right now?
- The task will distract you. Choose a way to love that requires a little effort and planning. In doing so, you’ll be distracting yourself, at least a little, from your own pain.
- You’ll start to feel grateful. This sounds cliche, but it’s true: there’s always someone who has it worse than you. We should always be loving those who are going through a hard time. Maybe as you pay attention to others who have needs and hurts, you will start to feel grateful for the good relationships you do have, and the broken one won’t see so devastating. Yehovah is good. All the time.
Love this article, a great reminder and very helpful to read . I like the visual idea of a comic book’s sound effects POW! BOOM! KABLAM! Take that Satan!
Thank you, Amy. This is a good and necessary reminder to let go of grudges. Sometimes we need the kick in the pants to do it.
Thanks for sharinfg these powerful truths that can be there anytime I need a little reminder!
Love this article!
In reality I can completely understand where you’re coming from in regards to this article. Yes I do believe we need to continue to love in return with what the Father has given us, “IF” you can recover from the abusive words or actions. Some don’t ever recover and are stained permanently their entire lives unfortunately. BUT…on another perspective when these other people who cause harm have not been held accountable for their behavior, they’ve not answered as to why they did what they did to those who they’ve injured it now leaves the person who has encountered their brunt with absolutely no closure, and that’s very sad. People in high positions, leaders within the congregations, have inflicted personal injuries with no consequences, and they’re still operating in those same places. There have been those who had to walk away from them in order not to continue their personal offences by them. Many times people will not receive closure to a ton of things in their lives and we have to learn to move on but that doesn’t always lessen the pain, the Father has to heal that. If we are able to break away from those that cause such injuries whether emotionally, physically, or spiritually then you have become a much bigger person than your offender. Truly the Father is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and if we learn to cling to Him with our entire soul something happens, something changes. Our hearts cry will be heard from His Holy habitation (Psalm 34:17) and He will encompass you. Until we “choose” to move forward past our offenders we can remain victims with victim mentalities or you can choose to run to the One who will protect you and reassure you that He will take care of those who have caused such harm and all we need to do is sit back and wait on Him to finish His work. (Ezekiel 34 explains clearly) Definitely seeking to revenge should never be an opposition, what will occur to the offenders through YHVH will be more harsh than anything we could do and that should bring and give us greater peace.
You said a lot of true statements. Thank you for your input. I just chose to focus on one thing in my article, about one way we should respond. To write on the entire topic from every angle would take a book! You’ll find my articles will focus on one thing at a time, just one thing that we can read quick and do something with. I in no way meant that there isn’t way more to the topic, which I mentioned, but maybe should have been made more clear. Have a great sabbath!
Beautifully explained. I’m one of those many that have deep scars that I will carry until I’m in my heavenly home with Jesus. I was actually betrayed by a Pastor of 45 years. You would think he would be honest. and above that I’m a widow. God protects the widows and he supressed a widow. Its been 6 years and it hurts as bad as if it were yesterday.. If anyone could have seen me. The neighbors woukld think I were dying. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Ive spent 6 years on my knees, but the hurt you can’t forget and we shouldn’t.
I pray for anyone who has been hurt and betrayed❤
Great article! I really needed this!
A great article, I needed to read this today.
I guess that’s why Jesus said to pray for those who hate us and despitefully use us ..vengeance belongs to him not us. One of the hardest things I think is when you go to the person who hurt you and they don’t even care but insist they are in Christ…really..? Anyway..there will be fakers , and shakers out there false brethren and ones who just had a bad moment. Me I’ve learned to pray for em all. You can never go wrong with prayer. Lord pls give us all the strength to pray for the ones who have hurt us in Jesus name amen
Great article Amy! We fight this spiritual battle by showing we are His disciples by the love we have for one another 🙂 I recently noticed that having a steadfast faith and love for one another are the two characteristics Paul notes in the Colosse, Philipi, and Ephesus fellowships, and realize we must have these in our fellowships as well. We are fighting against the adversary, NOT each other.
I did not see this when it was first Published…that’s because I did not need it then…I found it right on time…exactly when I needed it…thank you for the great advice…
Thank you so much for sharing this article Amy. This is not the first time I read this article. Today is my second time, because awhile ago I was in the position that I almost forgot who is really my enemy, and after I read this it reminds me how grateful I am to be inYeshua.
Havent read it yet, too upset
Okay yes the battle is not against flesh and blood as stated in Ephesians. But the Bible also says do not resist in the evil person some people are evil.